Not perfect

Ever had the feeling , when you are on the verge of despair and have no hope ,you just feel like dying. But then , slowly you recover.

Suddenly , a hand reached out to you. You began to grew to love that person more and more each day.

Even though the time spent together was mere days , you felt like it had been ages since this love has lasted.

That person , is a big liar. But when it came to love , that person will never ever lie to the person that they love because they have been deceived before. That person knows that pain of being betrayed.

Then , just an act of stupidity made everything gone.

Job , Money , and loved ones.

Everything just vanished in a day.

Any suggestions of what to cling on to remove that pain within a person?

That stupid person was willing to try cigarette to remove that pain , but she was stopped somehow by a weird feeling within her.

Wonders who's shoulder she can lean on now?

Everything became dull. She cant sleep , think or even eat as much.

She lost her 'muchness' , but she still have enough 'muchness' to say this.

" I freaking love you so much. " . :)

For now , these are the words that kept on repeating in that stupid person mind.

"Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you.
But somehow I managed to live on longer than I thought.
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you".
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless.

I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

Don't look back and leave.
Don't find me again and live on.
Because I have no regrets from loving you.
I'll take only the good memories.
I can bear it in some way.
I can stand in some way.
You should be happy if you are like this.
I'll become dull day by day. "
Oh boy.
I cry, cry.
You're my all,
say goodbye...

-ix3Rukia