ix3Rukia. -Isnt life just so sad? When all you do is Living?- ♥

Its a new day!

2011-07-08T22:08:00.003+08:00

Didn't go to school today , straight wake up and went Midvalley to see Weng You to have some talk about life.

Well before Mr. SHROOMIE arrived , I headed to 7-eleven across the bridge to buy a drink to fill my empty stomach. There was a beggar there , begging for money. I think that somehow I had some 'enlightenment' from god , and I did something that I would never even do during a blue moon. I gave the beggar money!! Audrey FTW! :D.

Headed back to Midvalley , found the 'lost' Weng you and chatted in the car. Thanks for comforting me :) . Walked around in circles in Midvalley , saw 'lunch' ( PETS WONDERLAND LOL) and then wonder around in the Gardens.

He belanja-ed me Sushi and Sashimi . Oh mai god. It was just that awesome. Unfortunately I cant eat so much , feel like vomiting :( . I hate thiss feeeelingg!!

Weng You drove me home after lunch. Wheee. Parked outside and chatted some more.

Aiyah!! I forgot to give Weng you the Marimo T^T and the secret present =P. But he ended up giving me the secret present OTL. -fails-

Then took a bus back to town with Daniel Koh for tuition D:. Sleepyyy!!

Though no words have been said ,
That was more than enough for us to know :)

-ix3Rukia

Lost :)

2011-07-05T21:44:00.002+08:00

'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

Thanks Weng You for always be the first one who called when I always had problems , ever since.. Form 1?? lol. Thanks for this awesome song too . I'll never forget it for its really meaningful to me when i'm down.

p.s Thanks for singing it to me xD. Your voice awesome lah!

-ix3Rukia

Life's shit.

2011-07-03T00:44:00.002+08:00

I understand Karma , its when you do bad things and bad things will soon go back to you.

But what have I done to deserve this?

Last year , I was yellow team hope. I had 4 gold medals and even won olahragawati.

Now , you're gone.

I lost all my confidence.

Everything is dull and grey to me now. There is no longer colours in my life.

Blog blog , how much have I abandoned you? I found love , thats why I forgot you blog. Words cant describe my feelings.

But now , I'm shattered. I've lost hope. I've lost everything.

Am I a bad person? Have I not prayed to god enough?

Maybe he's putting me into the test.

Maybe he want me to fail my SPM.

I lost all my hopes and dreams , if feels like nothing means anything to me at all. Life no longer has a meaning.

You've come and gone. You've stole everything from me and you're gone too.

I went all the way to find out , I shed my tears non stop , do you even feel anything?

You just went and smoke. I never knew u smoke. You are not the same person that I knew a year ago.

10 July 2010. Remember this? Why cant we last longer? Why cant we achieve 10 July 2011?

You said that you have exams and I have exams to go for. And because of that , you decided to cast me aside?

What about my problems? You were there when I was crying , having family problems. Now who's going to listen to my plea?

I no longer have anybody to depend on. I no longer have a shoulder to lean on. Maybe its best if I were just a memory. I dont want to exist anymore. If I were a memory , only you would remember me.

Maybe its time to say goodbye to life..

Stressed ,

-ix3Rukia

Upset

2011-06-28T05:07:00.001+08:00

Nothing in life can stay forever. I learnt that the hard way.

-ix3Rukia

You

2010-10-29T23:41:00.002+08:00

You hurt again ,
I swear i'll do 2x of what your doing to yourself.

-ix3Rukia

How retarded can they get?

2010-10-12T13:54:00.001+08:00

So, yesterday I went to school like normal. I study in SMK Desa Perdana, the MOST unfair and useless school ever. Most teachers there cant teach, only a few.

There is a teacher who love to accuse students too for something they never do! Its like the cookie jar scenario. 'I know you ate my cookie' 'What? I did no such thing.' 'If I say you got eat means you got!' 'WTF!?'

Anyways, this is what have happen to me. There was a spotcheck yesterday, one of my prefect friend asked the retard, Amanda cheam to check my class. I did not want the retard to touch me, therefore I asked Jane to check me. She was like 'Omg I suspect her bring phone! I shall be more retarded and tell tale to the disciplin teacher!'

So I saw her went to Pn Cheong and whispered something. When my class was about to leave for class, Pn Cheong called me and ask if I had brought my phone today. I replied no and she said got people saw you take picture in the toilet. I was like... What the fuck? I said I did no such thing in my life. Then I went back to class.

Lip ping, eddy , kenny and me played big 2 using uno cards during class. Suddenly, the rampaging Pn Cheong stormed in the class towards our place and said ' I saw you up there. Give it.' We said 'Give what?' and she said you were playing phone. I finally caught you' 'uh.. We're playing cards?' some of the people in my class giggled. I bet in their mind, they were saying 'LOL! Retard!'

Then she faced me and said you 'I know you bring phone to school. Got people say they say you take picture in the school toilet.' I replied 'Teacher, i'm not a lala mui. I never take picture in the toilet before.' 'Got people tell me. And I saw the pictures in your facebook.'

I was actually amazed the she said she saw pictures of me taking picture in the toilet. Cause I never did in my life, besides the one time I took it in red box toilet But I was not wearing school uniform also.. So I dared her, 'Teacher, I never take picture in the toilet okay. Want to go facebook now? You ask my friends if I got take before.'

I think she got pissed because she was losing. Then she yelled 'They also cant be trusted. I'm gonna charge you all. And I say you got take picture means you got okay!' I was begining to get fed up. Then my final words to her was 'Okay teacher you're always right. You say I got means got. Dont have means dont have. I die means I die okay?' Then she went out.

Later on, Ginnie came to me and say that Pn.Cheong showed her a picture of me playing with something like a phone. Guess what? Charge me if you can teacher. If you know about politics, you will know about the lingam case. I could say, looks like me sounds like me, But it isn't me. :)

P.s Dear retard who told the fake tale. I know god wont give you chance after what you have done. Justice will be served. Those who hurts others because they are just a pityful lifeless soul , will only hurt themself at the end. Hope you get raped by your boyfriend, get dumped and feel the shame.

-ix3Rukia

Sweet sixteen

2010-09-29T00:04:00.003+08:00

Yeah it was my birthday. But since it has passed 12am , so i guess my birthday has passed xD~

Earlier today ,I skipped the whole lesson after recess for I was helping Cikgu Safie for bomba stuffs.

I called teacher 'domo' . And he said domo looked like spongebob. LOL!!

After school , I had a birthday lunch with Babo :) . We had lunch in DDP food court.

He's so sweet. Bought me a cake. NOM NOM NOM. And a present too! Why do you always buy so much stuffs for me!! ROAR!!

Went tuition. Derrick was funny :D. Had a little bad day.

Had bread with ham for birthday dinner.. Parents had to attend a meeting..

I SWEAR!! TOMORROW I'M GOING TO FORCE MY PARENTS TO GO JOGOYA!! >: I NEED FOOD.

Anyways , i'm out.

-ix3Rukia

I hate you.

2010-09-20T18:41:00.003+08:00

Have you ever hated anyone so much in your life?

I do.

I hate you for being so selfish.
I hate you for always giving other people less freedom.
I hate you for being an ignorant kid.
I hate you for thinking that your always right.
I hate you for your existence.
I hate you for wasting people's money.
I hate you for being a jerk.
I hate you for everthing!

And I especially hate you for hurting the one you love most.

Yes I hate you Audrey Gan.

I hate myself for being a girl , having to grow up. Getting mood swings at times.
Thats why I begged you to stay away from me. So would stop hurting you.. Just stay away from me for the moment..

-ix3Rukia

Selfish me indeed.

2010-09-12T23:29:00.004+08:00

Went out to my parent's friend house for Hari Raya. Left home at 6 o'clock . Then off to Damansara wheee~

Reached there and ate bakso. AND LOTS OF CAKES <3. Yumm~. It was about 7pm when I finished eating. Babo had his steamboat with his primary school friends gathering. From 7 to 9 , I sat down on the sofa. Doing nothing. It was extremely BORING!

I sat down and thought. I have a lot of friends that i know , and some of them that knows me , I dont even know them! However why do I feel like I have no friends at all? It was just sitting down on the cushion for the past 2 hour.

I feel so selfish and I also envy people. They could go out enjoying their holidays spent with their friends but what do I get? Just sticking like a leashed dog by my parents. Forced to go anywhere with them.

Babo kept on smsing me. I feel bad. He should enjoy his day too , instead of keeping me company . Thats why I asked him to just eat while I lay on the Sofa , bored.

I'm so selfish. Thats why I try not to be. Dont be stuck in a cage because of me. Do anything freely without any limits because of anyone.

Man.. Holiday sucks.. I wish I can go out with my friends too.. I'm so jealous that you could hang out with your friends. Oh how I detest my life so much. Am I really good for nothing?

Locked up within that little cage ,
There was a little bird eating some cake ,
Looking out of its steel prison ,
A prisoner trapped that is never risen ,
Wishing to be free is all it could ever wanted ,
But its bond with its master could never be parted ,
Though the little bird loved his master so much ,
He also loved freedom and such ,
How could the little bird choose ,
When there is something to lose?
Thats why the little bird stayed ,
Because he didnlt want the love with his master to fade.

-ix3Rukia

Bored.

2010-09-01T01:17:00.003+08:00

Feeling so bored today. Been playing pokemon and dota for the whole day , and went to tuition.

For now , i just wanna share my achievements. :)

Case 1.

Case 2.

Total : 15 Trophy and 13 Medals. :)

P.s OMG ITS SOO SHINY :D!

-ix3Rukia

A gap.

2010-08-30T00:00:00.001+08:00

I sense a gap.
A distance.
I do not want it to happen!
How on earth could I close the gap?
Must I change for the sake of it?

-ix3Rukia

Jealousy.

2010-08-21T00:47:00.002+08:00

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.

I'm feeling so jealous over strangers when I walk past them. Especially when they are holding hands. Then I realised that I longed for you.

Time. Why are you being so cruel? Every moment together seemed like minutes but every moment we are apart seem like years.

I wish that I was older. Being so young seems so difficult for our age gap differences. You are a university student whereas I am just a mere high schooler.

Parents. Why do you have to be so demanding? Is a little freedom too much for you? It is not necessary that when a tree rots , the whole forest will rot too. First , you put all your hope on your 'beloved' first born child while the youngest is always left out. When the older one rots , you parents then ignores the first born and puts all the hope and attention to the second born.

Every little mistake is as if the world is about to end. I envy and admire so many of my friends. Cant life be more simple?

God said that ' Ask , and you shall recieve ' . Why are you so cruel god? Why do you give false hope to the people. Look at the earth now. Killing , robbing and many more crimes. There is so much confusion everywhere , just like me , my head is on the verge of exploding.

I'm such a selfish person. I dont really like to share. I keep things all for myself. For instance , you. Even just a small conversation , I feel insecure. I want you just all for myself , and nobody else can take you away.

A man can show how much he cares by being violent - see, he's jealous, he cares. A woman shows how much she cares by how much she's willing to be hurt; by how much she will take and how much she will endure.

-ix3Rukia

A nightmare.

2010-08-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

There was about 5 free period today. Our class had no electricity so we went to the library for almost the whole day.

I talked to Alistair and Balveen for 1 period. But when Balveen got pissed at Alistair for talking about perverted stuffs, she switched her seat.

It was utterly boring with Alistair. My eyes began feeling heavy. The cooling surrounding and the chill of the aircon made me feel comfortable and sleepy. Bit by bit, I became drowsy , falling into a deep slumber.

A dream occured which made me regret sleeping in the library. Among all types of dream, why do I have to dream about things like that?

I dont remember much But I will try to remember my dream as much as I could. It went something like this ;

You brought me out to a date. We sat on a chair and you asked me to wait there for awhile because you forgot something. I waited and waited for you But you didnt come back.

I got tired of waiting for the past 2 hour and decided to search for you.
After awhile, I found you and approached you, asking where did you go? You told me that you lost track of time because you met your kai jie there.

I didnt like the way you introduced me
To her. You hugged her and told me she's your kai jie that you happen to meet. Jealousy was written all over my face when she began holding your hand But you didnt pushed her away. Instead, you were laughing alongside with her.

You then asked me to come along with her and your friends to a cafe/pub But I say that I wasn't feeling fell and ran away.

It saddens me that you didnt chase after me. All you did was standing there with your hand together with hers. I kept on running and running till I passed out. There is where my dream ended.

I woke up with a hint of tear nearly flowing out of my eye But I wiped it away with my palm.

I am afraid. Afraid that I would lose you. I really really like you alot. There are always fearful thoughts that is always in my mind thinking how long could I stay with you. I really love you. I dont want any secrets from each other. I want to know everything about you until there is nothing left for me to know.

Babo, aishiteru desu.

-ix3Rukia

I hate my parents.

2010-08-08T22:41:00.002+08:00

Since you say that because of me , I'm stopping you from going to Indonesia , just leave me be. I hate you guys so much. You all always compare me with Marcus. Always putting too much hope on me. When i go wrong , you guys always blame me. Everything me. Even dad once say that he wanna disown me. I don't care. Don't find me. I don't want to suffer from you guys anymore. When Marcus hit me , i tell you guys , you just tell me to stay away from him. Its not fair. It has always been not fair. You yourself say that girl feelings are very sensitive yet you always hurt me inside. Even if I'm sick you still force me to go to school and say I'm lying. When i didn't go to school and tell you , you keep scold me and say you tell me i wont get so angry. When i tell you , you get more angry. I cannot tolerate you guys anymore. I don't want a life like this. Its really a living hell. Do you know how much I hate staying at home? Whatever. I'm leaving all my memories behind and starting anew.

Updatess

2010-08-07T01:04:00.003+08:00

So I have not been blogging lately. I wanted to blog but I didn't @.@~

Anyways , I saw a chinese newspaper at school and saw a drawing there. So i decided to draw that drawing too. It turned out pretty good , I must say :) .

Its Miku Hatsune! :D . The hair is pretty bad. I never saw Miku hair before o-o.

Oh yeah! I dissected a frog. Poor Leroy and Dixon ( the names i gave to the frogs because leroy and dixon was missing during bio , so i made a conclusion they turned into frogs and we had to cut them LOL :D ) Will show pictures later ~.~

And now its time to go all poetic~

The past few days that I have with you ,
Its too good to be just true ,
Now its time for me to come and realize ,
That you are the one I see when I close my eyes.

We had laughed together ,
We had hugged each other ,
Memories of everything we had is a legacy ,
But you still have to follow my policy!

Everything we had will be engraved into our hearts ,
Delicious like a pineapple tart ,
A day without your presence have been stressful ,
Its lucky that I didn't hit you!

-ix3Rukia

' Thank you '

2010-07-24T00:10:00.003+08:00

I always talked about you...

How you were a very special person to me, because you taught me how important life is.

You also taught me that life doesn't last forever.
That's why we have to help each other and live life to the fullest.

Even if you say goodbye,
You'll always be in my heart.
So, I know we're not alone anymore.

To keep doing what you set your heart on.
It's a very hard thing to do.
We were all so courageous.

What to do when I felt lonely.
That was the only thing you couldn't teach me.
But we need to figure out the answer for ourselves.

I'm so happy I met everyone.
I wish we could have gone on more adventures.
But I guess we all have to say goodbye someday.

All i have to say is ,
Thank you...

My memories will be part of the sky...
Someday when you look up , you will remember me.

-ix3Rukia

iwuvu :)

2010-07-23T00:34:00.003+08:00

I know that wasn't that long since we met ,
But destiny nor fate cant stop this surging feeling ,
I do not like you anymore ,
I love you .

You could have went to sleep ,
But instead you accompanied me through the night ,
Being far apart does not matter ,
As long as you take the initiative to just see me.

Though it might be embarrassing ,
But hey! Everyone has secrets too ,
Just keep it for us to know ,
Now and forever.

:).

iwuvyou.

-ix3Rukia

Curry rice! :D

2010-07-11T20:37:00.003+08:00

Went to Bangsar Village to eat curry rice :3 . It was awesome. I was so hungry so when the guy gave me 2 scoop of rice , i said i wanted more. Then he added another scoop. Then i asked him i wanted more again , he said ' Can you dont play? ' I said ' im serious '. So i had 4 scoop of rice :D. It was as much as my dad x3.

I had fish curry. :D . IT was awesome.

Do you know that Indian curry rice is like... the best food ever created?

Im so glad that I live in Malaysia. I could enjoy a variety of food :3!

-ix3Rukia

Football joke xD

2010-07-11T17:43:00.000+08:00

An American man asked god, when can we win the world cup, god said in a hundred years, the American cried. A Korean man asked god, when can we win the world cup, god said in five hundred years, The Korean cried. A Malaysian asked god, when can we even enter the world cup, god cried.

From a friend that posted it in facebook :3.

-ix3Rukia

My Lucky Star : Li Ya Wei / Wo Men De Ji Nian Lyrics + Translation

2010-07-11T00:40:00.002+08:00

Shu bu jin de lei wo you ku le hao ji hui
Endless tears, I cried another couple times

Huan hua cheng die ting liu zai zhe pian luo ye
Transformed into a butterfly stopping on top of this falling leaf

Bei feng hua de xue mai cang zai qian nian yi qian
The wind-swept snow had been buried thousand years ago

Wo yong jin yi sheng de si nian zhi wei deng zhe ni chu xian
I used up a lifetime of longing just waiting for you to appear

Hui yi jian jian diao xie zai wo shen bian
Memories began to wither around me

Huan bu xing yuan lai hai tiao dong de hua mian
Couldnt revive the picture that was moving before

Jiu rang wo liu zai lun hui de bian yuan
Let us stay on the side line of reincarnation

Deng yi dao guang xian
Waiting for a stream of light

Kan jian mou nian mou yue wo men zhi jian
To peer into the time when we

Ceng jin shuo (you) guo de yu yan
Made a prediction

Jiu rang ta dai zou ni de na shun jian
Let it take away that moment of yours

Cheng wei wo men de ji nian
Making it our commemoration

Shei neng fa xian wo de shi jie ceng jing you guo ni de lian
Who would notice that my world had your face once upon a time?

Took me awhile to translate and find the lyrics D:

-ix3Rukia

Heart.

2010-07-04T02:16:00.000+08:00

I guess guys are the same. And I guess i'm the same to guys too. I'm such a furniture, an object or a replacement. Why do I always get replaced? I'm a mere simple girl who tries to find love but I always fail. I always get replaced. No matter what I do, i'm not good enough.

Great. Now I think I could not sleep again for a few weeks.

To be continued. Have no mood to write.
-ix3Rukia

New month, new style.

2010-07-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

It is the first of july! A whole new month. A whole new style.

After having long hair for 10 years of my life, I have finaly cut it short, just like my maple story character hairstyle. Lol.

Days have been not so good. Eugene seems like a different person now. Why do you guys change? Always acting so cold after days has passed. Are you tired of me but not wanting to tell me? Or am I not good enough for your needs?

I dont like how girls are treated like chewing gum.. Once there is no more taste, you guys would spit us out and get a new one.

Only a handful of loyal caring guys remains in the world..

It has been raining hard just now. The weather is cooling, which is good. It helps me to clear out my temper. It may not look like so, but I have quite a short temper.

Oh yeah, i'm still working on my story. Changed the story A little due to the explosion of ideas. Hehe.

I also reached 500 subs in youtube. I love you guys. <3 thanks for subbing.

My computer went to the 'hospital' eddy sent me the photoshop that made my pc screwed up.

Maybe this is all I can think of.. I dont have much topic to think about recently.

-ix3Rukia

Note to self.

2010-06-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

Jae Ren = LOL.

Me
DATE = 2 PEOPLE >:C
11:13pm

Oon
Karate Kid > Date
11:13pm

Me
no
dating > everything
11:13pm

Oon
sex > everything
11:14pm

Me
fish u LOL

Oon
So
you cant seriously be going on a date all day
unless you two are gonna
gonna..
11:18pm

Me
NO SEX WTF LOL
11:18pm

Oon
rrrrgh.. emote
I was gonna say watch a few movies in a row
but
thats cool too
^^

-ix3Rukia

A random but true thought.

2010-06-04T01:59:00.000+08:00

Have you ever liked a person so much? I bet you do. Everyone does. But what will happen if that person that you like so much , likes you too? Or maybe you are positively sure that the person likes you back?

Whenever this happens , usually those 2 will try to talk to each other often , trying to find out more about that person. Or cut the chase. Go straight for the couple mang! You might think that you have fallen for the right person , that you love him so much. But this is what I call 'liking' only.

I was talking to my best friend , edison and I stated that I have a theory on couples. I call it the 3 months theory because usually when I see couples I will give them 3 months , depending on how I see them , in what way do I look at them. Their relationship will last around 3 months.

Just like a silly me , all my relationship does at 3 months. No matter how hard I try to keep the relationship as good as it could be , I will always get cheated.

I thought of it lately. Love is game where someone always loses. The loser will always get a very painful price to pay.

I decided to give up on getting back into relationships but no matter what , a strong force will always pull you to the opposite that you dont want. Like my other friend , he really likes this girl but he cant seem to get her. His feelings for her is really strong but... What a poor thing he is :( .

So , If you were in my place , you keep trying to reject love until somebody comes along and teach you to love once again. You know what he is the one that could make you smile although he is not that perfect.

My mom always judge a book by its cover. But I dont. Like I say , it is useless for you to have so 'perfect' if he have no real feelings for you.

You'll learn that love and school is almost similiar except in school, you learn and will be given a test. But in love , you are given a test to learn.

So what would happen if a person who you trust so much gives you false hope? That person claims that he or she likes you alot and everything
you think about that person is perfect. Then a sudden change will happen. That person will start to distance from you for no particular reason. It is sad to see that. I think that I have felt that way several times already.

That is why I have learn not to love someone so fast. Build up a relationship with the person till you think that you are ready. Dont fall for cheap, sweet and easy pick up lines.

Now I am trying to get rid of what I am always afraid of. Being alone , being not wanted and being not paid attention to. Maybe he might be the right guy or not but I have to leave it up to fate to choose my destiny. To where shall fate bring my destiny this time?

-ix3Rukia

Exam day 2..

2010-05-20T21:20:00.001+08:00

Was quite a fun day today. We only had english exam. First section was writing an article. It was okay. The second section was writing a story based on which topic you choose.

Lol. I choose the topic that ask to give the ending with 'i did not expect it to happen to me'.

As usual I wrote fictional rubbish lol! But me and kenny had almost the same concept, we were a hero but ken gi story was about him catching a burglar from his neighbour, and my story were fighting , magic and I died in the end. Haha! I dont really like stories with happy ending.. Cause it is always almost the same. And because in life, there is no thing like happily ever after...

But I am a girl, and kenny is a guy. Lol. Kenny and me ideas was suppose to be opposite where guys like fighting and girls like boring stories.. X.x

After recess was chinese. I dont take chinese exam so me and my best friend freda followed young pin to go to his house. Omg.. He play piano so fast and pro, then he say he noob. Lc betul... His two toy poodles is so cute! It keep on running around and tried to chase young pin's cat but the cat pawned it. Haha!
Later we took cab to eat japanese food. Me and young pin annoyed freda by singing the westlife song that was played on the cab driver's cd.

As usual,freda treat up. I feel kind of bad cause she always treat so I kinda pay back by treating young pin and freda ice blended chocolate from my restaurant. It was not sweet enough for me, but they said it was sweet lol.

Had lots of fun bullying kenny during tuition Haha.. Then me and my mom ate bak ku teh..

Anyways , i'm out. I feel kind of sleepy so i'm going to bath and sleep very EARLY. Lol. :3. Night all.

P.s oi baka Murse. Update your blog la. Roar.

-ix3Rukia

Back to school

2010-05-19T21:21:00.001+08:00

Yay. This is my 100th post. :) -happy-

Today I finally went back to school. Had exams. Grr...

The man dah as usual flirting with ....... guys. No taste and dignity betul. -vomit-

Kinda sleepy today during exam because I could not sleep yesterday (or today) so I watched the law of ueki till 4.30 am. Haha!

Puan cheong talked to me during recess. I was pissed at her for telling different stories so I ignored her.

After school I went to inox with Solomon. We say dev there. I also saw nick. We all played dota and lost epicly. Haha.
*note to self. Dev is a noob :( He no deny and all creep got time by solomon and me Haha.

The guy still constantly keep asking me to be his girlfriend although I never talked or noticed him before. Lame la.. I told him I do not want to be his girlfriend but he still keep asking 'you sure anot? Can we try? I got feel for you I wont lie'. Actually.. I dont get his english. All because I said I dont know chinese, he said he only know how to speak english only. Its very brokened and could not be undertandable.

My body feels so weak today.. Even my big lust for food is gone. Thats why I didnt went to tuition today.

Anyway, nothing else to talk about already. Tomorrow english and chemistry exam I think.. Wish me luck..

-ix3Rukia

A sad day?

2010-05-18T07:46:00.003+08:00

Recently, I have been so sad and down. ( Here comes emo Audrey again. ) I dont know why but it feels as though that something is missing.. One of my friend, named Long Ming was so nice to call me at 2.30am and asked if I was okay. LOL .

He said maybe I am missing school life, friends and stuff because he have felt like this before too. But I dont know for sure.. Do I actually miss school? -thinks- Bleh!! Who would wanna see that face problem daily pms teacher ... ._.

I didnt talk to the Murse for... Uh... 3 or 4 days? He seems so busy all the while.. He's doing his nursing stuffs. So I thought that I should stop bothering him. I really feel like a pest or something. /Sadpandaface , Because I was constantly bothering him, ranting about my harsh , cruel and pathetic life. I feel so useless... Exam is coming and I wanna study but my body does not move...

I realised my little cousin was using my facebook account and messed with my profile a bit. He changed my relationship status cause he was like 'ewww' lol. Then a guy who claims to be an ex student from my school facebook chat with me. I think I have seen him before but I never met nor talked to him. The next thing I know was, he said

'can I kao you?'

I was like o_o . Then he keep asking me to be his girlfriend and say he will love me and wont cheat on me. =.= . I then said to him,

'Wa.. You just know me so fast ask me meh?'

He replied me with ' I see you look like a person who does not play with other people feeling, so I know you wont cheat people 1. Thats why I love you.'

I questioned him, 'You hardly know me. If suddenly I happen to be a guy , then how?'

He replied , 'I know you wont cheat ppl 1 la.' then my mom came home and I had to off lol.

Ever since that day... -flashback- lol. I have been so scared to love, or be loved. Cause my story always does not have a happy ending. This is not a fairy tal that I can just say 'and they live happily ever after' this was the harsh reality. Cause whenever I always like a person so much, that person will stop talking or talk to me very less all of a sudden.

See. Now you know the reason of why putting single on relationship status is bad. :(.

I was also browsing through some comments about the changed relationship and I was so shocked. A guy, who I never talked to before, whom I met once during cod gathering commented ' Leave that bitch. ' I was truely amazed that a low life game seller (i'm sorry. I'm so frustrated now.) dont even know my attitude but he have judge me already. Maybe he only hears about the bad side of me?

Hello. Let me ask you a question. Which human on earth never did a single wrong doings? If there is , he can become a god.

I think that a trail of bad luck is following me. I have been getting so many problems. Everybody wants to tell fake stories about me to ruin my life as if that it isn't bad enough. I really hate people who gives false information about another person. And it is not joking. It really hurts.

I think that is all I can think of to rant today.. I'm so stressing.

P.s Bryan dont go grammer nazi on me.

-ix3Rukia

Wedding Dress [ English + girl ] Version

2010-05-15T20:14:00.002+08:00

I was bored , so i re-wrote the lyrics of the song ' Wedding Dress ' by Taeyang :3!!

Credits to Christine Nguyen as i took some parts of her lyrics and mixed it with my own.

I'm so sorry everything is over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say say before I let you go
Listen.

Whenever we would fight
You'll always let me win
And then we'll be laughing bout this someday
Because you always knew that i'm , i'm , i'm a kid
You said that he'll be happy if I just smiled.

Then one day you came and said that you're through with me
I sat and thought of why were you acting so differently
I thought that I would die , without you by my side
Cause now you are just an Illusion.

Baby , Please don't go , don't ever take her hand
Cause I should be your lady ,
All i want and need is your embrace.
( Just don't leave me )

Your love for me fades , then your claim that she's the love of his life.
I don't understand , after she have hurt him you'll still go back to her.

When i'm in my wedding dress ( Boy )
When i'm in my wedding dress
You're not there with me
Wedding dress
When i'm in my wedding dress. ( Oh no )

Our memories still haunt me
Why cant i forget you?
But you have forgotten me easily
I text-ed you when its four , four , four thirty
I cried and begged you to come , come , come back to me.

I cant imagine spending any day without youhere
You came into my life and suddenly he disappeared
I was sick of it , I don't need love
Cause all love have done was too hurtful.

Baby , I'm done with lies , don't even hold my hand
Cause you have your lady
I am afraid to fall in love again.
( I'm scared of it )

When he came along , he cared for me and he thought me how to love again
I think I'll understand , this mysterious feeling of falling in love.

When i'm in my wedding dress ( Boy )
When i'm in my wedding dress
I would not stand with you
Wedding dress
When i'm in my wedding dress. ( Oh no )

I don't care if you will change
Cause I seem happy in this way
I will hope that you wont be crawling back to me
Because i know that he'll cherish my love more than you do , He deserves it.
( No , oh )

I've been hurt trice , he knew that so he took care of my delicate heart
I don't wanna love , but I cant stop this surging passionate feeling.

When i'm in my wedding dress ( Boy )
When i'm in my wedding dress
Wedding dress. ( I'll be with you )
When i'm in my wedding dress. ( Oh no )

-ix3Rukia

The epic story of how i got suspended ._.

2010-05-12T22:34:00.004+08:00

I got suspended from school for 5 days for something that i have done , but i did not realized it.

This prefect named Amanda who had a grudge for my best friend named Dek Loong , cause he just shifted to my school , got called better prefect than her and we were childhood buddies. Anyways , i was buying an eraser in the bookshop when she came and said ' I know you came here to hide your phone. Come lets see teacher '

Wtf?

Then teacher took my phone away. She say ' This Audrey keep on using phone in class. '

i replied ' I NEVER USE PHONE IN CLASS. YOU DIFFERENT CLASS THAN ME YOU NEVER EVEN TALK TO ME BEFORE HOW DO YOU KNOW IF I GOT USE OR NOT? '

I went back to class , crying. I was frustrated and angry. Then the bell rang and it was the next period.

All i remember was walking down the stairs going to science lab , then the next thing i was in the science lab. Then my friend told me i took a plastic chair and hit a prefect. The worst part was , i hit her friend. Not that Amanda.

I have no memory of me hitting anyone. I am usually not a violent type. Maybe it is because i have bottled up my feelings of stress from at home to school till i cant take it anymore.

And thats the story of how i got suspended.

Then , i was so scared to face my parents. I didnt went home. I was wondering around alone. Then my best friend lend me her phone. A guy , a murse ( male nurse LOL )kept on consulting me to go home till i went home. It was already 10pm. My mom asked me for the girl's dad hp number , so i gave her.

That Amanda told her dad that i was a gangster , WHEN I AM NOT. Said that i told them ' next time i hit you with other things , not plastic chair. Your lucky this time ' . She was telling fucking liess. Even my mom didn't believe it and told her dad i would never say this kind of things.

OH WELL. THATS WHY THAT IDIOT AMANDA IS THE NUMBER 1 HATED PERSON IN THE SCHOOL.

ix3Rukia

Wedding dress piano sheet download.

2010-05-10T18:05:00.001+08:00

http://www.4shared.com/get/151834625/4f4934d6/Taeyang_-_Wedding_Dress__trans.html;jsessionid=0979A99A8CAF7D082C6A8A3D29CA55D8.dc216

Our Destiny.【Chapter 1】

2010-05-02T18:20:00.004+08:00

Third Person Point of view.

Night falls upon the Forest of Darkness , the forest that is filled with the stench of evil everywhere. In a Distance , heavy footsteps and panting of a girl could be heard. It seems like she is running away from something.

The girl had a white ribboned headband on her silverish-black hair. She is wearing a Grey long sleeved shirt with a red scarf around her neck. Her black china pants with a symbol of a red dragon that once shine brilliantly had became dull. The dead leaves rustled along as her brown slippers stepped on them.

"Crap. They are after me. I would beat those creatures into a pulp , but i have used up most of my Spiritual and Magical energy after the last fight. " she cursed , knowing that she is a feline that could survive in a lion's den.

Quite a distance behind her , more footsteps could be heard. But it doesn't sound like a normal human footsteps , it sounded more like footsteps of horses galloping their way through the forest floor.

Two black Kentaurus emerged out of the thicket as they continued chasing the girl. Kentaurus are creatures which have a lower body of a horse combined together with an upper body of a human being. Something similiar to a Centaur , except they are bigger , stronger , they had no eyes and they are the evil creations of a dark Mage.

The Kentaurus wore iron and steel plated helmets. On their hands , they wield a spear that is created by spirit particles of the surrounding. This is one of the basic magical spells named Terra , where summoning weapon is possible. The running of the Kentaurus came to a stop as one of them held up its spear and mustered all its strength to throw the spear. The spear cut through several trees and pierced the girl's stomach. Her blood flowed down the spear as her clothes began to soak up with blood.

Resisting the immense pain , she placed her hands on the spear and held it tight. She closed her eyes and concentrated hard to gather up enough strength. Taking a deep breath , she pulled out the spear that was pierced through her stomach quickly because she knows that pulling the spear slowly would hurt even more.

" Damn it! " she cursed under her breath as she tossed the spear away. " Was too careless. Maybe if I ... " she mumbled.

The girl focused her remaining Spiritual and Magical energy. She then felt a warm sensation building up within her and released it. A mixture of orange and yellow light was formed and took shape of a maple leaf. The maple leaf shaped light surrounds her and slowly disperse. Instead , replacing the light was two tiny fairies . One of them had blue hair , dressed in blue and the other had pink hair , dressed in pink.

On their tiny hands , there was a golden dish which contains silver dust. The two fairies flew above her and poured the silver dust throughout her body. The fairies soon disappear after pouring the dust. Amazingly , her woulds began to heal as if nothing have happen. Not even a scar nor a single trace was found indicating that she have been seriously wounded.

" Luckily I was able to heal myself... " before she could complete her sentence , her heartbeat have drastically increased. She felt a sudden surge of excruciating pain throughout her body. She could feel her strength gradually leaving her body as she falls down on her knees.

" Poison!? " she groaned. Her body was too weak to hold her up anymore. Finally falling down on the ground , the two Kentaurus emerged out of the darkness and walked up towards her.

" If this is how fate has choose my destiny , then so shall it be. " she told them as she gave a faint smile and closed her eyes.

Both of the Kentaurus was directly above her. The previous Kentaurus that wounded her had already summoned a new spear. Holding the spear above its head , getting ready to kill her , a set of footsteps followed by the rustling of dead leaves could be heard.

Wearing a black and white cap with wings , a white undershirt with a faded blue jacket , black slacks and blue shoes , a mysterious figure jumped over the Kentaurus . He pushed up his blue sunglasses and told the Kentaurus ,

" Leave her or I will kill you ."

The Kentaurus yelled in anger and threw its spear toward the mysterious figure. In a blink of an eye , the two Kentaurus was frozen in a block of ice and the spear pierced through them , causing them to disappear as they are only summoned units of the dark Mage.

The girl tries hard to keep her eyes open but her vision was blurred , unable to see the face of the figure walking towards her while crumbling an object.

Unsheathing a dagger , he threw the previous object beside her as the object rolls into her pocket. He held the dagger above her head , ready to strike her. Exhaustion overwhelmed her as her eyes seems though that they had weights. Bit by bit , the light fades away slowly. Drifting into a dark abyss , she hears her name being called.

" Shinku Rukia..."

Our Destiny.【Prologue】

2010-05-01T22:45:00.009+08:00

Everyone has magical and spiritual energy within them. It's only if you have the capability to control the energy. Controlling the energy could have a result of getting certain ability beyond human reach. This ability is what we call ' Mahoo ' .

People who could use Mahoo are called Mages or Magicians. Mages varies from Elemental users to Summoners , each having an ability to control certain skills. With the expanding usage of Mahoo , it has became the essential to life. Everyone depends on Mages to do task and pays the Mages if the task has been successfully completed.

Every Mage have a different mindset. Some would want to explore the world and have an adventure. But some of them took advantage of their abilities to do evil deeds. Thus , a group of powerful Mages was gathered and appointed to become a Council to balance things out.

A Mage named Sai , was one of the council members. He was appointed with a difficult mission together with his loved one , Kara. Their mission was to slay a mythical beast , Balrog that dwells deep inside a cave because it has threatened to destroy a city.

Sai and Kara fought with all their strength to defeat Balrog. The beast muster all its Magical energy and tried to shoot them with a beam. Before the beast released the beam , Sai stood in front of Kara and took the shot. The impact caused him to hit the cave's wall as he lay on the floor unconscious.

Knowing that she could not defeat Balrog , she sacrificed herself to slay the beast. Her Spiritual and Magical energy dispersed from her body as they gather to form a crimson orb. There , she smiled at the unconscious Sai as her body slowly fades away.

The crimson orb levitates and drifts away out of the caves , into a forest and falls on a bush. The orb began to glow brightly and a baby girl was formed. Crying on the bush , creatures of the forest went to investigate what and where was the sound coming from.

Surrounded by the vast numbers of creatures , the baby girl stopped crying and waves her hand around giving them the most beautiful smile that they have ever seen. The creatures were so touched because she was the first person who wasn't afraid of them. They then decided to take the baby girl in and raise her as if she was their own child.

Sai finally woke up and looks for Kara but all he could find was the dead beast. He went back to the Council hoping that he could find Kara but there was no trace of her. Thinking that she have left and betrayed him , he lost his sanity and cast a random spell that made him lost his memory about his life , but not about his spells.

He was confined into a chamber by the Council until they could find a cure for him. Only on a full moon , every Mages Mahoo gets stronger by the power of the moonlight. Once the moonlight is gone , their powers will return back to its original state. Sai waited for the full moon to come while he was confined. When the moon was at its peak , he casted a spell and escaped into the wilderness. Ever since his escape , nobody have ever seen him.

When a dad comes home..

2010-04-30T18:26:00.002+08:00

What happens when my dad comes home from Indonesia?

He buys me chocolates!

Lots. Of chocolates.

Tarot cards.

2010-04-30T13:33:00.002+08:00

I found that tarot cards are amazingly true.

My friend named young pin , knows how to read tarot cards and he read my stuff.

1. Personality. ( I had The lovers arcana. )
- Does not know how to love someone and doesn't know how to show yourself yo the person you love.

2. Financial
-Very good in earning money.

3. Family and friends problems.
- Your relationship can get better but you lost it. Dont be in a rush cause the relationship wont be so good.

4. Family oriental.
- You might have a bit stress from homework so you'll have some problems with your family. Dont bring the stress back and you will be better.

5. Relationship with a boy.
- The feeling of love that you have lost will come back. Your new partner will be better than the last time and your thoughts about love will be better than the last time.

6. Your health
- You'll probably get a flu. Just rest up. ( the next day i had flu. LOL )

7. The relationship with your friends.
- Your friends were good to you and you are good to them. You'll be together more often like in collage.

8. Your parents inheritance
- You wont have a lot of stuff cause you are very good in spending money . ( LOL NOT TRUE XO )

9. Your knowledge and collage. ( I had the Fool arcana. LOL )
- You'll mostly move in an artistic style in your collage or maybe you'll try to invent stuff.

10. Your work and job.
- If you get the job that you dont like , dont be a busybody cause people will bully you.

11. Ambitions
- If you really think that your ambition is very good then it will most probably be successful and you'll be more mature.

12. Danger and fate
- You'll most probably be to yourself. Your friends will be hard to get close to you.

13. The whole thing.
- Talk to your friends more and think positively. When you have problems with your boyfriend , you'll need to face it and stop. You lack of experience so you need more time to be more mature.

Whats happening recently..

2010-03-28T19:00:00.002+08:00

Went to times square AGAIN , with Poh , Adam and Jia Jia.

Adam treated Mcdonalds and movies ~~ . Yay.

Went to the arcade to play some games. First time playing Para para Paradise 2mix.

IT WAS AWESOME!! I'm super addicted to that game now =P.

Note to self : JIAJIA IS SO PRO IN THAT GAME LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you wanna see us dance , go to my facebook =P~

Anyways ,

Life wasnt fair to me. I've been getting rubbish lately. But in every life , there are their ups and down!

I've made awesome friends , have 2 NEW brothers . They are so caring. :3 Adam and Poh!

This is dedicated to Unnamez~

Have an awesome MURSE as a friend ( a Man nurse ) LOL. Looking at his face always makes me laugh haha! He still owes me ice cream though.

Anyways , your a great friend :)! I'm glad to have you as a friend.

( He treated me so many times during the outing!! ) @.@

-ix3Rukia

The Garena Outing

2010-03-22T18:27:00.002+08:00

Garena outing was fun!! SUPER FUN!

Note to self :

Jiajiamon = Imba tall.
Rukia = Imba short.
Dont stand beside him. Stand beside pohpoh.

Unnamezz : My new mum!! Haha. He's so caring.~~

Kiyun : The emo. I still owe him a * * *. Lol . After next time we meet , say next time and next time again.

Blues : The stalker D':!! Why u didnt wear skirt! - Also my kor kor~

Poh : Perasan-ted Leng zai. Pfft... LOL. - Also my kor kor~

Exdoom : My dad. LOL. He was the oldest xD

Jiajimon : My uncle :) Mr.Imba Tall gao lao xD

Kosh : The super yeng admin. I love how u did your ear man ! The the tribal people ear xD

Todo : RUDE AS USUAL!!! PFFT LOL.

Desmond : I'm scared that you will eat me man D': .....

Had lots of fun. Pawned them at my first try on Daytona LOL.

Wanna go outing again <3. Had so much fun :)

-ix3Rukia

Midori ✖ - Chapter 1

2010-03-18T18:58:00.005+08:00

Chapter 1
The cruel past

14 years ago
Third person POV

There were noises coming from outside. Midori normally wouldn’t notice it for she is a heavy sleeper. But this noise , It was just too much for little Midori. She began to cry out loud hoping that her parents would keep the noise down.

“Oh shit. The kid is awake.” Says a man’s voice outside.

“Don’t worry , I’ll handle it. Just hurry up and find the information okay?” another man whispered softly , but loud enough for her to hear.

Then , Midori hears the creaking sound of her parents door being opened , and then closed.

“Good. They went back bed. I can now sleep peacefully.” Midori whispered to herself softly and rested her head on the soft pillow while hugging a teddy bear that her parents bought for her recently.

Before she could close her eyes , Midori hears her mom’s beautiful voice saying ,

“Please just take what you came for. Just don’t hurt Midori!”
“Yeah like I’ll give a fuck about a small kid.” the first man said with a tough tone.

Her room door sprang open. A figure emerged through the darkness as it came closer. A men , so handsome that no words could describe him. All Midori could think was , He looked like an angel. But there was something else.

He had a baseball bat on his hands. He came closer and closer to her and lifted the bat above her.

“NO! PLEASE! WE’LL DO ANYTHING. JUST DONT TAKE OUR DAUGHTER PLEASE!” Sanyo shouted.

Sanyo rushed in and before Midori could realize what was happening , the angel struck Midori with the bat but Sanyo was on top of her , taking the hit from the angel. Blood splattered all over Midori’s soft and white face from his mouth.
She could see her daddy syncing the word from his mouth saying “ Midori , Otosan and Okasan loves you very much.”

Bang.

Okasan screamed.

Bang.

Pure silence. And then , Midori blacked out. 10 minutes has passed , and Midori finally woke up.

She felt a warm liquid all over her body and pushed Sanyo’s hand aside. Midori placed her hand over her table to find her table lamp switch.

Click.

Midori’s POV

Blood. Spluttered all over the walls , on my bed and on me. I was mesmerized by this red thing and didn’t even notice that my parents were dead beside me. I went outside and found out that the house was ransacked from top to bottom. But that didn’t bother me much. I turned back and walked towards my parents and touched them but they were no longer moving.

“Otosan? Okasan? Why aren’t you moving?” I shook them.

No reply.

“Otosan , Okasan. Stop playing already I’m scared” I shook them again vigorously.

Then I recalled Otosan showing me a picture of a dead body and blood.

“Midori , you see this red thing? Its called blood. Always remember , whenever you see this in large quantities , someone is going to die or is dead.”

I calmed myself down , took my teddy , kissed Otosan and Okasan and tried to wake them up once more , but it was no use. They are dead. I began to giggle and slapped myself thinking that maybe it was a nightmare and I will soon wake up , but no , it wasn’t.

This was reality.

I walked out of the room took a last glimpse of my parents and headed out of the door and see where destiny will take me. I ended up walking in the streets of Tokyo with teddy , both of us soaked in blood.

I just hugged teddy and continued walking until I realised that everyone was whispering among themselves , staring at me , horrified at the sight of blood on a little kid. I just ignored them and continue searching for a place to sleep.

Finally I stopped. My legs were getting awfully tired . I looked to my left and saw an alley. I walked through the alley until I reached a dead end. I collapsed on the ground and closed my eyes. I was too tired to find anything to sleep on or to find out what was I sleeping on. Right before I could sleep , it started to rain.

"Just my luck!" I shouted. It was frustrating enough that my parents is dead , to walk all over Tokyo and I could not even sleep. I walked out of the alley and started to find for a shady place. Luckily , the rain washed away most of the blood on my body and teddy but there are still some dry blood stains left on my clothes.

The sky began to flash. Thunder echoed the city. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and found an abandoned warehouse. I walked in and sat down beside the entrance while hugging my legs. I have always been afraid of lightning. And then , I smelled smoke.

I quickly looked up and my expression changed. I was so horrified. It was a man , a thug. I screamed and try running away but he had a firm grip on my wrist. He dragged me inside the warehouse and gave a grin.

I knew what he intended to do. Otosan told me about it , but I never knew what kind of things they would do.

I struggled as hard as I could , though I know that a man is way stronger than a mere four year old child. He made me lay down on the floor and held my wrist tight and secured my legs so I could not even move. He began touching me in a strange manner that I have never felt before. He even kissed my neck and licked it. It was disgusting. Why would man do such things like this?

The man tried to pull my clothes off. I put up a fight and struggled again. When one of my legs felt free , I instantly kicked him on the crouch and he yelled in pain. He released his grip and I ran for the door , hoping that he wouldn’t chase me but I felt a rip on my shirt and a hand grabbing my arm.

The thug spun my body towards him and punched my stomach. I have never felt physical pain before. The pain was excruciating.
“You bitch! You are going to suffer real bad!” He shouted at me and slammed me to the wall. I coughed out blood and hope that my life would end fast and quick. He tore the rest of my shirt and my panties. I no longer have the strength to fight. I felt hands all around my body and the thug began opening his pants.

Bang.

That sound , I thought. It was so familiar. I looked up at the thug’s face and saw his eyes wide open. He began to release his grip slowly and fell on the floor. I stared at him as he took his last breath before leaving the world.

“Poor child. Somebody must have died before your eyes recently , not counting this imbecile. You shirt is stained with dry blood.” A voice spoke.

I was startled by the voice and looked up. Another man. Why does this day gets horrifying every second? The tall man with black hair , blue eyes , denim jacket and jeans looked at me. He is a teenager and the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life. But I remember what have happen earlier tonight. I tremble and slowly move back hoping that he wouldn’t hurt me.

“Why are you going away?” he asked me.

“Because man is a Bakemono!” I stammered.

“What!? How can a handsome man like me be a monster?” he smiled and took of his jacket.

“Stay away from me!” I shouted.

He came closer and closer to me. I shut my eyes tight and prayed to god. I felt his warm breath all over my face and something covering my whole body. I opened my eyes and saw the man covering me with his jacket.

“Your shirt is a mess. You can have my jacket.” He said gently and stood up.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“My name is Haru.” He replied.

“Haru? It means sunlight , or spring right?”

“Whoa! How do you know that? You are a very intelligent child!”

“Otosan teaches me everything!” I boasted.

“Well , what is your name?”

“I’m Midori!”

He lifted his hand to my face and stared into my eyes.

“I know why you parents named you Midori.” Says Haru.

“Why?” I asked.

“Have you ever notice that your eyes are green?”

“No! My eyes are black all the time!” I boomed at him.

“That means that your eyes changes colour. You are a very special child. Well I will take my leave now. Goodbye , Midori.”

He lifted his hand off my face , slowly moved back and walked away.

“Oniichan wait!” I shouted.

But he faded into the darkness. His face , his smell and his touch. I could never ever forget it. He was my savior.

My sunlight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days has passed since Haru saved me. I survived by stealing food from stores and drinking water from the water fountains. Haru’s appearance gave a huge impact in my life. I had the desire to keep on living for a reason. I wanted to see him once more.

It was about six thirty in the evening. Dusk is arriving. The sky that was blue is beginning to turn into a mixture of orange , crimson and grey. My stomach was getting a little hungry. I walked around to find food that I could steal easily.

Minutes later , I came across a park. There were many vendors selling many types of food around the park. I sat down on a nearby bench and scanned the stores for the easiest ‘target’. I stood up and walked towards a store where nobody seems to be taking care of it. I went behind the store to check out if anyone was there and saw a man about in his thirties , fast asleep on a chair. It was a great chance to steal some fruits now! I quickly grabbed a few apples and slowly crept back. But someone saw me and shouted.

“Hey! That kid is stealing something from that store!” shouted a man.

I ran away as fast as I could but tripped on a tree branch. The held me from the collar of Haru’s jacket , pulled me up and slapped my face. Everyone in the park rushed to us to check out what was happening. But they did not help me. All they could do is just watch like a fool. Damn those bastards.

“You are so young! I bet that when you get older , you will cause more trouble! I’ll teach you a lesson!”The man said.

My hands were trembling. I was afraid of men , except for Haru because he was different from the others. I tried kicking him away. The man curled his fingers into a fist. I panicked and my eyes widen. My heart was beating extremely fast. I knew that any normal heart would not beat that fast. I tried breathing slowly to calm myself down , but I could hardly breath.

“I CANT BREATH!” I shouted , while gasping for air.

“Oh , sure. You know that was a pretty lame excuse to escape?” he squinted at me.

My breathing got faster and louder. My vision blurred and everything was spinning. I see the man's mouth moving slower and slower by the second. Then , darkness soon covered my entire vision and I fell into a deep sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mmmmm.” I croaked.

I slowly opened my eyes. Why is to so fuzzy? I blinked slowly for a few times and everything was clear now. I sat down while looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. I dont seem to remember anything , execept for blood , my name , i'm afraid of men and Haru.

“Where… am I?” I said to myself.

“You are at an orphanage! You've been sleeping for a week now you pig.” says a cheerful voice that came behind me.

I was started by the voice and fell off the bed. I picked myself up and a girl jumped on me. I lost my balance and my head hit the table.

“My name is Yumiko. You can call me Yumi!” she smiled at me.

“Ouch.” I replied while staring at the girl with disbelief. She is about two year older than me. An extremely cheerful face that could not even stop smiling. Brown hair and black eyes. Her skin was so soft and smooth.

“Oh, yeah I’m sorry. I thought that you were strong.” She smiled at me once more.

“Why… do you keep smiling?’ I asked.

“Because… it is a very nice thing to do!” she smiled again.

“She is the most creepy and weirdest person in the world.” I thought.

“Hey you! What is your name?” Yumi asked.

“I’m … Midori.” I replied.

She threw a heavy cold bag on my head. I think my head is going to lose brain cells soon.

“Ouch.” I frowned.

“Ice packs for your head!” she giggled.

“Okay… But , you should not have threw it on my head. My head is bleeding already. I’m going to sue you off all your money!” I teased her.

“What!? Your bleeding? OH NO! I’M SO SORRY! I’LL CALL THE AMBULANCE NOW!” she panicked and rushed to the phone on the table.

“RELAX! I was just kidding!” I shouted and smiled at her.

Now I live in the orphanage together with all the other kids. Okay , maybe not all. I never mess or talked to the boys before. I’m still afraid of guys.

10 years later

I’m fourteen years old. I live alone now in my rented apartment. How could I afford to get an apartment? Easy. I work as a Lawyer. A little kid like me being a lawyer? No , i'm not joking. I've passed my law school in a year. Being a genius can be quite handy sometimes. Other than that , nothing much has changed. I go to school , I’m still that shy girl and men still scares the bejesus out of me.

I even kept Haru's jacket in tip-top condition after all these years. I just love wearing it. It makes me calm when i remember the day he saved me.

/end of chapter one.

Midori ✖ - Prologue

2010-03-18T18:57:00.000+08:00

Prologue

It has always been imprinted in my mind. Evil has a name , and its name is Men. As far as my memories could recall , Men are very scary creatures. They are merciless genders who would do things that aren’t sane.

I could never ever trust men again.

Blood.

One of the many few things that i could remember from my bitter childhood.

Whenever lots of this beautiful red thing appear , i instantly knew that ,

Somebody is dying

Love a riddle~

2010-03-15T00:24:00.003+08:00

I've always thought that you can become an adult , only by shedding enough tears.
But i stop as i realized the confusion , of the feelings lock up within me.

When i saw your sad lips forming the words ' Goodbye ' ,
I begged you to stay with my painfully tight embrace.

Even though I , laughing by your side like this.
You dont know yet that ' I love you '
Please realize these feelings that i cant find words for.

I stopped the flow of time and waited .
Searching for you , my one and only.
And now those forgotten moments are starting to flow once again.

Even though love is full of agitation ,
People still live on by cuddling side by side.
Having met each other on this star floating in the sky.

When i end up talking to somebody , it is because i fear that our love is coming to an end.
Thats why every moment we spent together is like a priceless treasure.

Having you all for myself shouldn't be possible ,
But i still get anxious when you get too nice to others.
This daily growing , need to own you completely is so hard to bear.

Because i can say it is special.
Because lies and such are no longer needed.
I can now look at my surging emotions without pretending.
That day , i thought i have decided if all i get is agitation ,
I definitely don't want to fall in love ever again.
But nevertheless , we ended up meeting each other.

We couldn't even make a promise when we parted ,
And now i cant sleep at night because I'm so lonely.
Oh please , tell me what your true feelings are.

I stopped the flow of time and waited.
Only for you , my one and only.
And now those forgotten moments are starting to flow once again.

Agitation definately wasnt all i got.
Here we are , looking at the future together
It's all because we met each other in this wide wide sky.

English translation of the song ' Love a riddle '.
I used to hear this song all the time!
And i loved the lyrics xO.. Its so touching. Haha!

-ix3Rukia

Sports day!

2010-03-12T20:33:00.002+08:00

Sports day was last Wednesday.

I ran for 100m , 200m , 4x100m and won gold medal for High jump.

After a long day , i won 4 gold medals for all the events. Except for 400meters and 4x400. I hate 400meters!!!

I wanted to get the best sportswoman throphy. It was sooo shiny... but teacher said the throphy was piority to form 5. So i was depressed.

Getting awards time. Yellow house won marching? What the heck ? Lol!! I was there to 'play' with the marching and the team sucked. But we won!? LOL!

Sportsman throphy was awarded to Siva , from yellow house.

GO YELLOW!!

The time has come to anounce the sportswoman award is finally here. I thought that Jacq will get it.

BUT I GOT IT!! WHOOHOO!!

I heard that Jacq debated with the teacher of why she didnt get it.. She said something like she also have same amount of medals as me , and she form 5 , why cant she get?

Teacher said , i got 4 gold medals. So that settles it. xO..

I got hit on the ass by Justine , Cassandra and many red house members . Their couldnt accept their defeat for 2 years straight , by the Yellow house!

But it was okay. Since red has been the champion for like.. how many years?? 4+?

Dont think that next year , yellow house could win. All our best runners have ' ran away '. :c.

-ix3Rukia

Outing no 2~

2010-03-12T20:28:00.003+08:00

Went times square with Kiyunz , Jack , Todo and Khai Hoon.

Couldnt play bowling , my right hand middle finger cant play bowling anymore :c... Seems like my bone was dislocated Lol. It hurts when u touch it.

Then me , Kiyunz and Khai Hoon walked in circles. o_o...

Kitun helped me to get a cab. Sorry for the trouble kiyunz :c.... That other cab guy looks like a rapist D': .

Took the bus around 5.45. Came home at 6.45! What the heck! Stupid traffic jam :c

-ix3Rukia

Lesson learn.

2010-03-04T21:04:00.005+08:00

I though that today would be as usual , another ordinary day. Where i sleep in class , dont do teachers homework--- Wait! why am i telling you this ! xD

Anyways , Elicia Tan pulled me with a super serious face , bringing me to Puan Patonah. The woman who looks pretty scary on the outside. Before reaching her , i told Elicia

'I DIDNT DO IT!! WHATEVER IT WAS!'

Then we reached Puan Patonah. She asked me if i could replace a girl in the 4x100meters event for representing the school. Oh joy! I love running. Running is my life!

Opps! I forgot that i could represent the school but i forgot to sign in my name . So what the heck! I'll just join!! Yay. I could skip my school lessons!

Reached the stadium at 8.am with Ling Yean. But our finals is at 4.30pm! OMG! I nearly died of boredome.. But.. There is another worst thing that is about to happen.

My Physics teacher , was the teacher in charge. And she told me i had to run 4x400Meters!? Say what!? I cant run far distance for i have a weak heart. Teacher kept on asking me to try , So i'll just try then.

I had the replace a girl named ' Puteri Amalina '. ( I think thats the spelling) She was a Malay , and Ling Yean had to replace another girl who didnt attend. So i had to pretend that i was Puteri , saying i was a half Malay half Chinese and a little Dutch! LOL ! Ling Yean gave me the idea. So we kept on trying to say ' Hello. My name is Puteri Amalina ' in dutch slang. But i failed. So i tried the Malay slang saying " Wei! Jom kita pegi makan lah wei!? " Lol. But i look too Chinese. The guys on the tracks kept on talking to me in Chinese . Lucky , i wasnt that BAD in Chinese anymore so i could understand what were they saying.

Running time. Everyone told me to sprint all the way. I tried to do that , but after 200meters , i 'died' o_o. I nearly fell on the tracks but then , Jaq's voice kept on echoing inside my head ' JUST KEEP ON RUNNING , DONT TRY TO FALL '. I couldn't take it anymore. My face was so pale , my head hurts , i couldn't breath. But i kept on running and passed the baton to Azmira.

Well.. We didnt win anything. I feel so guilty. I shouldn't have run and let my fellow team mates down. I failed.

So , the lesson i have learn is ,

1. Never trust Puan Patonah again.
2. Never run 400meters again.

-ix3Rukia

Ideas , suggestions?

2010-02-22T01:07:00.004+08:00

Lol , i know this may sound REALLY stupid but...

YEAH! I am writing a song!! xD...
Still stuck on the lyrics though =/.

I'm writing stories now too! But i'm also stuck haha...

Fun day.. Went to uncle Jerry's open house.
Deonne bullied me.. I was using msn , open video call with Kiyun and...
He kept on writing ' I love you '
To kiyun.
To lenny.
To a few more people... ._.
And a few of them were like... ' WAT?'
-pats- He is only 10. Forgive him.

Bullied Blues just now xD. He is sooo perasan-ted. Pfft.

School starts like in 6 hours. Gosh..

And i still owe Kiyun 2 more songs D': ... I'm his Parrot . Need to sing 2 more songs.. Any suggestions? :( .

Sleepy already. Rarw..

AH KIYUN! I LAZY WAIT FOR YOU TO GET ONLINE ALREADY!! kthxbai

-ix3Rukia

Outing with kiyun and friends

2010-02-20T22:48:00.001+08:00

Went out to midvalley with Kiyun his friends and the gang yesterday.

Had soooo much fun.

P.s : never play bowling with Kiyun. Cause the machine helps him to knock the pins down :C .

Enjoyed the day very much~

-ix3Rukia

Loss.

2010-02-14T16:04:00.002+08:00

As the years grow older , i'm beginning to think that ...

I'm losing everything that is important to me.

First , i'll start out with my dog. I'm very close with it. I loved it , it loved me. But , It died for having liver problems.

Second , relationship problem. No need to tell further details... Just that most guys are cheaters. Only a few good ones remain.

Third , My best friend passed away due to tumor of the brain. He was predicted to pass away when he was 7 , but he made it to 15. We all love him very much.

Fourth , Phone+wallet. Some idiot blue house malay fucker , stole my phone and wallet.

Fifth , My dad suddenly went on rampage. Saying that ' i never see you study at all ' , be more like your cousin. Just like all typical asian parents. You are always not at home , how can you see me studying? Now , he is going to put my computer in his shop. FOR WHAT REASON? I dunno. I really hate him now. What is a kid got to do without fun? Be a zombie?

I'm so sick of life.. The next thing i think i'm going to lose is my mind.. or my life..

-ix3Rukia

Unlucky.. But wtf?

2010-02-11T21:17:00.001+08:00

Today morning , when i woke up , my mother smacked me and scolded me ._.

Today afternoon , some retarded cheap ass stole my wallet and my handphone when i went for high jump.

Today night , My dad scolded me for ' not studying ' for i was TOO upset.

1 hour later. He give me use his touch phone. -_- ..... Wtf. lol. i hate touch phones D':!

Lies. - Big bang

2010-02-01T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yeah Love is pain.Dedicated to all my broken hearted people.
One’s old flame, just scream my name and I’m so sick of love songs.
Yeah hate them love songs. Memento of ours… Lies!

A late night and rain falling down.
I bring you back from my memories.
I promised myself I would be fine without you, but I can’t help it.
I take in liquor which I don’t even know how to handle trying to fill my empty heart.
A day without you is too long. I pray that I may please forget you. Thats a lie.

Without you , happiness cannot be found in me.
I can’t even shed any tears. I don’t want to live anymore.

Yeah, this is bullshit, it’s pissing me off.
I’m going crazy in thoughts of you.
I want to see you, but I’m being told that I can’t, that it’s all over (I’ll be right there).

I'm so sorry but i love you. It was all lies . I didn't know. Now i realized that i need you.
I'm so sorry but i love you. I gave you scars. I should have never let you go to waste.
I'm so sorry but i love you. It was all lies
I'm so sorry ( i'm sorry ) but i love you ( I love you more more )
I'm so sorry but i love you . Can you leave me and forget me slowly ,so i can get hurt ?

I dedicated my all into this song for you.
Other people probably don’t know.
By myself, without anyone knowing. Yeah, those words I said were lies
A loner left in the midst of it all. In my pocket is the breakup letter that’s all wrinkled and folded up in my pocket, Hey
And my habit of calling for you and wondering where you are.

I’m gonna change, I’ll laugh everything off from now on.

I'm so sorry but i love you. It was all lies . I didn't know. Now i realized that i need you.
I'm so sorry but i love you. I gave you scars. I should have never let you go to waste.
I'm so sorry but i love you. It was all lies
I'm so sorry ( i'm sorry ) but i love you ( I love you more more )
I'm so sorry but i love you . Can you leave me and forget me slowly , so i can get hurt ?

I hope this is all a dream , because I only add up to this much. Drop that babe,
I still can’t forget you. No I don’t think I ever will, even ’til the day I die, yeah.
Did the scars I gave you heal? I’m sorry because I never got to do anything for you.

I'm so sorry but i love you. It was all lies . I didn't know. Now i realized that i need you.
I'm so sorry but i love you. I gave you scars. I should have never let you go to waste.
I'm so sorry but i love you. It was all lies
I'm so sorry ( i'm sorry ) but i love you ( I love you more more )
I'm so sorry but i love you . Can you leave me and forget me slowly ,so i can get hurt ?

-ix3Rukia

Feelings

2010-02-01T23:19:00.001+08:00

Whatever anyone says the relationship between you and me
Will not end
In this world the most
most in credible
Leave me alone everyday
Alone together
They direction we lead our life
I’m tired and tired so that
You and me will be how we fall
Confined in life’s maze
You cheered me up my hero
After meeting you
My life is like drama
uh My feelings for you
Wider than an apple tree
More blue like the sea
The waves and sea all envy you and me
A struggle with the weary wind
Forever me & you
Our love is happening now
Look at my eyes
oh I will trust you
Everyday I cry alone
I am so thankful

-forever with you.

-ix3Rukia

Difficulties.

2010-02-01T22:48:00.004+08:00

' Wedding dress '.

Sounds familiar?
I though that was our special song...
I dont think it is anymore.
I cant give up on you.
I am addicted to you.

IM JUST SO CONFUSED!

I cant let go of you , but at the same time i want to let go.
Its just like you wanna open the door , but u lost you key.

' I still love you. '

That word keeps on repeating over and over in my head.
" If you two love each other , why you break?
People who love each other should stick to that.
Even though you have problems , you just got to face that " - Says Mr____. :)

I face them.
I dont want to trouble you.
Living another day , knowing the fact that your heart is broken ,
a person still loves you so much deep down ,
whether if we could get back together.

I dont think anyone could live in that situation.
The pain of the heart , is the worst pain of all.
And the worst part is , i cant find the medicine to heal it.

And i know , only you know the cure.

Im stuck in a situation. A feeling nobody could solve.

'Love'
What is love?

Love

Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love.

Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others.
Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, know that person is with you through thick and thin, isn't afraid to be seen with you. make sure they treat you right.

Love will last forever.

What is exactly the feeling of love?

Nice , Delightful , extraordinary , fun , pain , bad , confused , Yet it is sensational.

You want it , but yet , you dont want it either.

Here is a song. Of what i'm feeling.

Everyone is telling me to forget you.
But how could i?
The more i dont want to think of you , the more i will!

Wo Bu de bu ai ni.
Definiton : Gotta love you.

Bu zhi kuai le chong he er lai.

Its just like.
You cant stop ants from loving sugar.

Your like a drug to me. I know its bad , but i still want it.

' I know your dangerous ,
magnetic hazardous ,
you should be tattooed with a warning.

Cant you see ,
Your slowly killing me ,
Your love is like poison. ' - Poison.

There is a thousand words and questions running through my mind.

How , Why , What .

Please.. i cant take it anymore.

Help.

-ix3Rukia

Horoscopes.2

2010-01-31T20:40:00.001+08:00

Yearly prediction for the year 2009 for LIBRA (September 22 to October 23)

The coming year brings in much to rejoice and many new lessons learned. IT is likely to be a fine year for you, where financial gains come to you like never before.

If you have fine tastes, yet lack the resources to indulge them, there is a likelihood that it may all come within your reach. There could also be some gains through speculation or games of chance; however, this is a very general indication and accurate forecast can be made on basis of individual horoscope. Those who are involved with fine arts, sports and literature are likely to make a mark in their respective fields.

The time is good for the young people who are drawn towards someone special. Romantic overtures will be reciprocated and you could be spending some really memorable moments with loved ones. As with anything else, there is a flipside here too - stars indicate a disturbed home environment. Your sleep is unlikely to be restful. You are likely to be stressed by the ill-health of parents, disagreements with spouse, issues among siblings etc. People have different personalities and are likely to be inclined to think and act differently.

The only way you can minimize emotional damages is by toning down your expectations of the people in your immediate environment. Just keep fulfilling your responsibilities and your part and all will be fine. Also there may be occasions when you will be asked to pitch in with physical and financial help. Do not hesitate, rather help as well as you can.

There are also chances of your going abroad but you will have to stay wary of swindlers.

-ix3Rukia

Horoscopes.

2010-01-31T20:35:00.002+08:00

Dog.

This may be the most likeable sign of all in the Chinese cycle. A person born in the year of Dog is honest, intelligent and straightforward. He/ She has a deep sense of loyalty and a passion for justice and fair play. If you have a forthright Dog for a friend, you must know that, when you are in trouble, all you have to do is, dial D-O-G for no matter, how much he or she complains, scolds or feigns. In difference, the Dog person cannot ignore a real call for help.

Horse.

A person born in this year is said to be cheerful, popular and quick witted. He has raw sex appeal than straight good looks. The unpredictable Horse will fall in love easily and fall out of love, just as easily. An adventurer and heart, still he is noted for his keen mind and ability to manage money. Self reliant, vivacious, energetic, impetuous and even brash, the Horse is a showy dresser, partial to bright colors and striking designs, to the point of being gaudy on occasion. The Horse loves exercise – both mental & physical. The native of the sign is often called the playboy or playgirl of the cycle. He is just as skillful in business and love.

Truee D':

-ix3Rukia

Its dedicated to you.

2010-01-31T15:52:00.004+08:00

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind

My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
Say goodbye.

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on longer than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless

What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day

Oh boy I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye...

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with her, so I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

I hope your heart feels relieved
Please forget about me and live on
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by

It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

Oh boy I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye .

-haru haru

Dedicated to you.

-ix3Rukia

I did it for love.

2010-01-31T15:39:00.002+08:00

You touched the deepest part of me ,
You got my heart it's jumping ,
I told you all of my secrets ,
Didn't see betrayal ,
One day two months .
And now it's over .
Didn't think it would fail.

Loving you is causing me to change.
And it hurts so bad it don't feel the same ,
And now my friends are asking me ,
"What did I do?"
Im done hurtin' myself over loving you.

I I I I did it did it did it for love.

Its time for me to go.
Emotions are one thing that i never liked.
No offense , but why do guys give the same reason all over?
But they all do the same thing.

【† ♥ Heartbrokened ♥ †】

-ix3Rukia

Why?

2010-01-30T23:56:00.004+08:00

I need to settle this once and for all.

My heart is aching.

I cant even sleep at all!

There are a thousand things wondering in my mind.

Were your feelings fake?

Just a replacement?

I cant tell. All i want is answers.

I dont wanna chase something i cant get anymore.

I'm so sorry everything is over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen.

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy.

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When Im by myself I talk to you like you're here
Ive felt so restless every night
Maybe Ive known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave my heart alone

If you dont want it.

Please be happy with her
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long time.

This is taken from a lyric. But it is what i wanted to say.

I trusted you. I needed you.

But u let me down.

Why do this stuff always happens to me?

I cant accept you leaving. I really cant.

-ix3Rukia

To do list.

2010-01-30T22:08:00.003+08:00

ix3Rukia's To do list.
1. Erase the memories we had together.
2. Cut self. ( done )

3. Buy new clothes. ( done )
4. Heal my broken heart.
5. Keep beg Adam for cookies . ( done )
6. Never trust people again. ( except for a few of them that im lazy to mention here )
7. Beg adam for cookies again after he says no ( done )
8. Try to forget him.

But i cant..

-ix3Rukia

Outburst of emotions

2010-01-30T15:44:00.004+08:00

I never had the will to let you go ,

I never thought that you will go , after your promise towards me.

I've lost trust.

You know what is ironic?

I was holding the bible today and randomly flipped a page.

Pslams 118:8

It is better to trust in the LORD , Than to put confidence in man .

Isnt it SO ironic? Maybe god IS really asking me not to trust guys...

Except for Kenny , Ryan , Eddy and Lance D=< .

Anyways , i refused to accept the fact that you have feelings for her.

I didn't want to believe it.

But after all... I had to face the truth.

After showing u a song ' Wedding Dress ' - By Tae Yang.

And seeing you constantly hearing it.

I know that you are feeling the same thing as the video clip and the lyrics of this song.

After all.. Maybe that Lance is right. I'm a toy. Just for you to play when you're bored.

When you are not bored , the chilling and coldness within you appears. Exactly like your name.

And after all. Maybe i AM an Idiot. :) . How fun. Fascinating isnt it?

And i remembered what Ryan said.

Almost all guys are like this.

If they still constantly bother you for a week , or two , or a month saying stuff like ' i love you, i need u, i miss you ' , they are lying.

Cause its fun to do that to a girl when after break ups.

Girls are like chewing gum to guys. When there is no more taste in the gum , you spit it out.

And.. Ryan is right. I've been a fool. I easily trust people like you said.

What i think of myself?

' You fall in love easily and get hurt just as easily. '

-ix3Rukia

I'm confused.

2010-01-28T22:15:00.006+08:00

Was meeting you a coincidence?
But i think its rather fated as destiny.
As we grew to love each other , we embraced our hearts.
When you are alone , i'll be there for you.
But a sudden change occurred.
I hardly recognized or knew you anymore.
Have your heart turned into ice?
You are no longer that sweet , caring and touching guy i knew.

Was this a joke that destiny have played against us?
Or is it just me.
Here i state my feelings.
It has been a week of sadness for me.
O Cruel fate , Why must you do this to me? What have i done?
Maybe i've been a disobedient child.
Maybe i've been a playful child.

And now , i guess i have lost the desire to live.
Just like i have always said .
Isnt life just so sad? When all you do is living?
So. Why am i living now?
What is the reason of living?
What is the purpose of living?
If there isnt any reason or purpose , does it matter for me to live any longer?

I'm just so confused.
I no longer know what to do.
My decision is unclear.
My heart is weak.
Our love is gradually fading.

I'm confused.

-ix3Rukia

ALL AMERICAN REJECTS CONCERT!

2009-11-01T21:00:00.003+08:00

Yay. i went to AAR concert yesterday. The local bands were... boring yeah. :) no offense. AAR was great , but he did make wierd noises O_O. But i did enjoy myself there . Teehee.

At first , Sarah said she'll come at 4pm. I was like okay..Then at 8am , she called and said 3. Then i quickly slept at 8.30am. (WAS WATCHING TV) Sarah called me at 1.45pm and said she's coming now. But my eyes saw the clock wrongly and i thought that it was 2.45. I went and bath , came out and checked my phone. She smsed "Im already here" I was like.. WHAT? -grabs clothes and quickly dried hair- -runs down- *dam my hair was wet..* We ate at the canteen and went to bukit jalil. it was 4pm. DAM. WE WAITED FOR 2 FRIGGIN LONG HOURS. >_< . While we Q up. Some idiots that have no manners pushed and squeezed us like a dog. The guy beside me push me like a fag and when people pushed him , he got angry and nearly took an umbrella and whack the dude. The girl beside me was another faggot that pushed. geeze.

-ix3Rukia

New video

2009-11-01T20:54:00.003+08:00

Oh yay! new video. 2nd time using flash. :)
Dont worry about turtlebear. Its just a joke between us.

-ix3Rukia

Facebook

2009-10-27T06:10:00.004+08:00

Just took a facebook quiz. And wow.. this one is realy true =/ .

"Audrey took the quiz Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love? and the result is You Are Right Brained in Love

When it comes to love, you go with your gut not with your head.You have an open heart. You fall in love easily and get hurt just as easily.
You are spontaneous with relationships.You go with the flow and don't worry about the future.
You are romantic, empathetic, and caring. More than most people, you really love being in love."

-ix3Rukia

ITS LISA!!

2009-10-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

Oh ****. i just saw this on a random website.

It's Lisa chow cosplaying as Honna Onna! The lady from jigoku shoujo.
And her friend as jigoku shoujo sleeping on her lap lol.

-ix3Rukia

New short.

2009-10-02T16:12:00.000+08:00

I made a new short. Enjoy.

-ix3Rukia

My burfday is today!

2009-09-28T22:56:00.003+08:00

Yeap. Title says it all. Today is my 15th birthday. I am officially FIFTEEN NOW. FREDA AND JOVEE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY WAS TODAY!! D: . -Goes to the emo corner and weeps- AND SO AS THAT RYAN!!!!

"Chat from msn , Me and jae ren"

✖ ix3Rukia ✖【† ♥ Souls of sorrow ♥ †】☑Dota says:
whole week cant sleep
keep getting nightmares
then today
like my best friend forgot my birthday
and ryan too!
._.
RYAN!!!
D:
Jae Ren says:
lol
ryan
o_o
bad day huh
it must be...
all RYAN's FAULT
yes
ryan is to blame
✖ ix3Rukia ✖【† ♥ Souls of sorrow ♥ †】☑Dota says:
lol haha indeed.

:).

Well anyways Sean was sweet enough to buy me a teddy bear lol. It looks so cute :3.

And jae ren , you suck D: . Lol. But i love you cs pal :D( i r n00b0z). (AS A FRIEND. GEEZE. DONT GO LIKE OOOOHH AUDREY AND BLA BLA BLA THATS CHILDISH ._.)

-ix3Rukia

I'm a cute little orgeee~

2009-09-25T15:02:00.001+08:00

Dragonica level 19 in a day lol.
Doing mission on orge , i got stuck in orge form for an hour cause mage does not have charge attack.

-ix3Rukia

More signatures!

2009-09-05T17:00:00.004+08:00

I've made my new signature and it will be on mapletv. Anyways JOIN MAPLETV!

http://mapletv.forum-motion.com/forum.htm

Here is my signature.

And this one is made for somebody

(i run a signature shop at mapletv)

-ix3Rukia

Subscriber special!

2009-09-05T16:48:00.001+08:00

READ DESCRIPTION OF THE VIDEO IN YOUTUBE BEFORE COMMENTING!

-ix3Rukia

Turtlebear.

2009-08-16T00:39:00.002+08:00

A sig i made for turtlebear. GAH SORRY TURTLEBEAR I PUT THE WRONG SPECTS D:. Noob siggy alert. -beeeeep-

CLICK FOR VERY SEXY VIEW.

-ix3Rukia

Vocaloid project

2009-08-16T00:34:00.002+08:00

This video is for the vocaloid project that i made O_O . Custom pose by me :D

dont cha love the thornberry? :D (i think thats its name O_O)

-ix3Rukia

Singing lol.

2009-08-01T02:20:00.002+08:00

Lol. MapleTv's Idol contest. just entered it for fun. Jovee , Freda u better not post crap comments on the vid ._.

Wheeloliphailinthismuahahadontgivemestupidinsultingcommentsyoufhaggetsorillswearillkillyou.
:)

-ix3Rukia

Maple story Dota - Techies

2009-07-31T22:45:00.002+08:00

I love techies! Whooo! I video dedicated to the goblin techies!

-ix3Rukia

Rest in peace beloved.

2009-07-31T22:38:00.002+08:00

As i woke up in the morning , i though that it will be a great day. I brought my pillow to school for the dumb ol' ceramah. Geeze. That fat teacher was boring. Soon later , i went to my restaurant slept there for awhile. Went home , watched the show ' 17 again ' that Ken Gi borrowed me. It was funny but whatever.I HATE ZAC EFRON! Then i went to tuition. Was doing science until Young Pin told me that my Dog , Yee Yee died. I was like OMFG!? WHAT THE HELL. Pin claimed that Yee Yee died from eating a poisonous flower that made her kidney/intestine have problems. I was sobbing in tuition. (lolwtf) Well. My parents were very surprised of the news. My mom said " stop crying its just a dog " . I said " HEY ITS NOT A DOG! ITS FAMILY >=O " . Well. I will love you always my beloved dog. Forever in my memories you shall be.

Lol i was just using the curtain ribbon and tying her up for fun xD

-ix3Rukia

Custom sig - Persona 3

2009-07-17T20:29:00.003+08:00

Well i decided to make another sig using persona 3!

Persona 3.

CLICK FOR UBER SEXY AND CLEAR VIEW!

-ix3Rukia

Scare a mortal

2009-07-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

Lets prank our friends! Scare the shit out of them :D I was pranking Jovee. Come and watch my prank video :D

-ix3Rukia

First Signature.

2009-07-12T19:51:00.005+08:00

I was trying to make custom poses and guess what! I did make it ! Then i was messing with some backgrounds and colors in photoshop CS4 and i made a signature O_O

Here it is :o

CLICK FOR UBER SEXY NICER VIEW

Custom poses edited by me! Featuring Turtlebear and me.

-ix3Rukia

New MMV! Big bang - Fool

2009-07-12T19:48:00.002+08:00

Wow its been very long i didnt post. So anyways , i just made a new MMV! And i think it was quite good for my 2nd time. I used custom poses and flash pretty much.

Here it is!

-ix3Rukia

Music Quiz [Tag]

2009-06-20T14:34:00.003+08:00

I finally uploaded my music quiz video. I was too bored doing my animations :D

Sorry the video is so big. Its in uber sexy quality.
-ix3Rukia

LOL WTF

2009-06-20T14:32:00.003+08:00

Lol. I was making my Maple animation videos till one of my friend gave me a link.

http://tubenow.net/news/?name=Balveen+Kaur+Hullon&location=Taman+Desa&g=f&news=9

Sorry balveen. I didnt do it. one of my friend found it and gave it to me.

And. This is funny ;D

http://tubenow.net/news/?name=Freda+Kiung&location=Taman+Desa&g=f&news=2

Lol. Freda pwned.

-ix3Rukia

Noob sand king play bug.

2009-06-13T01:58:00.003+08:00

Pouring frustration towards dota , i gained more frustration.
This sand king was playing "ulti bug"
The whole area of the map was effected by his ulti. And non stop. IT WAS GAY!
And here is another gay bug.

Click for better view. But as you all can see , Why the hell is the frozen throne at the river!?

-ix3Rukia

SMK Desa Perdana 2009 IUday

2009-06-12T22:03:00.004+08:00

Yay today was IUday!!

But it wasnt THAT fun. I had no date , Margret dont let us dance and well i aint dancing at that time by the way. So she kept saying " Dont let them dance " "On the lights" and everybody was chanting " On the lights! On the lights! " Lol.

Here are some pics of me and some of the people!

Me and Balveen :o

Me and Dan-Dan (Daniel) [Daniel Aniel Paniel!] - The nick i gave him =P

Livi and Me~ Livi my best buddie since i was a kid!

Yeah! The gang?(or not..) OMFG WHY DOES KENNETH LOOKS SO THIN? IMPOSSIBLE!
From left : Sarah,Brian,Me,Kenneth,Livinesh,Vivian,Melody.

Haha! They played a game to make spaghetti. Then , they lost and must eat all of the other spaghetti that the other teams made. (Jalal,Kah Wai, Aaron , Havi , Pratib)

-ix3Rukia

Fool.

2009-06-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

English translation of the Korean song *Fool*.
Exactly right. Read it bishes! :o

Yeah (love is breaking) I know girl (you know my situation)
Right time but I can’t (say goodbye)
Girl (our separate ways)
Saying that I love you don’t cha?

Don’t g-g-g-go don’t l-l-l-leave me and go
I don’t have the c-c-c-confidence, don’t fool my t-t-t-two eyes
Don’t g-g-g-go don’t l-l-l-leave me and go
I’m s-s-s-still waiting for you like a f-f-f-fool

The withered rose bouquet, your scent still
Even though I want to erase it, it can’t be erased
Are you leaving only holding vague memories
I loved everything about you
Why are we trying to go down different roads
You should have been truthful, you should have embraced me
I don’t know anything but you, you should have held me, you fool…

I still don’t understand love
Why do you keep getting farther away from me
Like a fool in front of your door
Hurt and turned away, only my sad image
Still unresolved misunderstandings
Inside there’s a longing for the troubled you
I miss you so at least like this in your
Heart I just want to live and breathe

I love you, I don’t love you
You’re coming back, you’re not coming, I miss you…

Don’t g-g-g-go don’t l-l-l-leave me and go
I don’t have the c-c-c-confidence, don’t fool my t-t-t-two eyes
Don’t g-g-g-go don’t l-l-l-leave me and go
I’m s-s-s-still waiting for you like a f-f-f-fool

I’ve cried all night, I’ve called out to an unresponsive you
I’ve hid avoiding the world, the moment you left I’ve been dying
Still not a single thing has changed
The constantly deepening disease, only I’ve been hurting
(This star) is (love) is tiring, you fool

I still don’t understand love
Why do you keep getting farther away from me
Like a fool in front of your door
Hurt and turned away, only my sad image
Still unresolved misunderstandings
Inside there’s a longing for the troubled you
I miss you so at least like this in your
Heart I just want to live and breathe

Although I’m left alone inside me your memories hold onto me
Don’t separate from the last leaf, grab my hand

Take all of the letters and pictures you gave to me
Even if they’re thrown away they’re never erased from inside me
Because of my hopeful heart I stay up all night again
Will I not be able to let go of this little hope

Still unresolved misunderstandings
Inside there’s a longing for the troubled you
I miss you so at least like this in your
Heart I just want to live and breathe

Oh oh oh oh oh are you just getting farther away
Oh oh oh oh oh only my sad, turned away image

-ix3Rukia

Holidays,Activities,Heartbreak.

2009-06-11T23:34:00.010+08:00

Yay! Im back from the holidays guys! Im back bishes now kiss my foot and call me master. Lol. Joking O_O!
I went to "Pulau Besar" during the holidays. Followed my daddy to Trolling. Uncle Patrick managed to catch a Tenggiri but when dad was about to hook it up , it got away :(.

Me and Ryan went Jungle Trekking by ourself. Actually... I forced him into it Lol. I was chasing my dad. He went to the other side of the island to fish. Me and Ryan jungle trekked for at least 1 hours +, CARRYING BIKES TO THE JUNGLE GOING UP AND DOWN THE ROCKS!! D: Ryan was a big chicken. He chicken-ed out on the way and wanted to go back. So we just head back :o.

The next day~

I caught a total of 18 fishes :D whee. And ate them! Muahahaha! Not really. One of them i used it as live bait , but when i was casting it hit the lights of the Jeti and fell into the sea. Lol. And another fish , while reeling it in , a GIANT fish came and ate my fish and my fishing line broke. The 3rd fish , i saw my dad was depressed because he didnt catch any fish during trolling. So , i took a bucket and caught a fish and kept it alive. I asked dad to hook it and dad said "For what. Got no fish also! Now low tide where got big fish!?" i just replied " AIYAH JUST HOOK THE BLOODY FISH AND CAST IT!" Dad did what i said. And he caught a big fish. Its lips were soooooo freaking jelly-like and its melay name is "bibir tebal" lol. Whee. IT WAS GOOD! We had fish head curry , fried body and guess what? It had an egg sack in it. So uncle Ricky (owner of the resort) ate it :o We all dont eat egg sacks. So we gave it to him. And the next day , while catching fish again , Ryan kept taking out the fish out of the water. I was playing and called one Flippy. I grew attached to it. Then RYAN took it out of the water and it suddenly died D:!! NOOOOO FLIPPY!!! I WILL NEVER FORGET UUU :(.

Damn u bastard Ryan!

Here are some of Pulau Besar's Beautiful view.

The Beautiful Sea + Corals from the Jetty.

The left side of the beach.

Right side of the beach.

Jetty view from the boat.

The Jetty + people that worked in the resort i stayed in :o

Kittens drinking milk -COUGH-

4 Kittens sleeping :D

CAT PLAYING MAHJONG!! He won me okay.. D: Lol. Joking. I pwned them (Ryan was holding it)

Mew.Mew.Mew.Mew.Mew. SO CUTE <3~

We went home the next day. I had carsick. -Barf-. Came home rested and switched on the computer. (YAY computer! after 5 days of island :o) Then dad asked to go out dinner. Shit. I had carsick. He wants me to get more carsick. We went to my dad's restaurant and ate. After that , dad shouted at me saying "FASTER ON THE TV!! GOT BREAKING THE MAGICIAN CODE NOW!!!" Watched it for quite awhile and Jae Ren kept calling me >=O u bish!

Then Veen Zhen sms-ed me he said he wanted to talk on something important. Rushed back home switched on the computer and ask him What?
And he friggin broke up with me :( RIGHT BEFORE IUDAY!!

1. He said we dont communicate much.
2. He was the one saying dont act like gfbf at sch.
3. ........... Whatever im not emotional shit kinda person.
4. That goes "it". No dates for IUday 3 years in a row.

Fuck this life. (lol was that emotional?)

Isn't life sad if all you do is just live? So, Why do i live?

haix. Whatever. Im tired already. I need to release tension ._.

Time for some pawning at Dota. I pity those noobs.

-ix3Rukia

Finally?

2009-06-03T14:11:00.004+08:00

Geeze. After some confrontation i finally can go IUday. But Hanley and Jae Ren cant go. Thats sad. i had to return their tickets back. They aren't happy about it but they just gave me back the tickets. O_O

-ix3Rukia

Favourism much?

2009-05-29T19:46:00.002+08:00

Hmm. I bought IUday tickets for myself and 2 more i had to give to Hanley and Jae Ren. But today , Kar Mun, Dixon and Leroy said that we need to hand back the tickets to them because of there is not enough place and Interact members are priority. So we have to give it back to them. What the f***?(no offence okay Sho Phia) So I cant go because im not one of "your kind" and since Cheng Mun is the vice president of Interact club and ____ Sho Phia ( i dont want to mention it :o If u wanna know what is it ask me shophia) she can go and i cant go? Isnt that Favourism much?

This is my last year in SMK Desa Perdana and i really think that i deserved to enjoy it as much as possible with all the school activities while i can. I MIGHT not see you guys any more so thats why i want to spend time with you all.

-ix3Rukia

Deviant episode 3.

2009-05-29T19:44:00.001+08:00

Deviant episode 3 is out!

or go youtube and watch it for higher quality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmE5tafRq_0

-ix3Rukia

Deviant episode 2.

2009-05-25T23:01:00.001+08:00

The next episode of Deviant is out! Here it is!

The next episode will be some fighting flash animation :O its gonna be my first time flash animating x.x!

-ix3Rukia

Pro drawer.

2009-05-25T00:27:00.003+08:00

I went to youtube to check some videos of people drawing.
And this 13 year old girl drew this picture using PAINT! UBER PRO MAN!

-ix3Rukia

Deviant episode 1.

2009-05-25T00:19:00.003+08:00

My first Series of maple story movie. About Vampires and Wolfens.
Visit http://www.youtube.com/user/ix3Rukia for the rest of the episodes. This is episode 1.

-ix3Rukia

Sen No yoru Wo Koete.

2009-05-25T00:16:00.001+08:00

Whee. My MMV is done, here it is
Sen No yoru Wo Koete by Aqua timez.

-ix3Rukia

Ryan and Kengi. Pawned again.

2009-05-17T17:43:00.003+08:00

I was too bored making maple animations. Kengi called and asked if i wanted to play. So i replied " Um okay ". I played Nevermore. I wasnt that pro in that hero. Anyways it turned out great.
Here is some pictures of The items.
The funniest part is... I left 200 hp. With aegis , ryan with full health could not kill me.
HE then used kengi's char , lion and fingered my illusion lol.

The score was. 19 - 0

-ix3Rukia

Scared

2009-05-16T23:34:00.002+08:00

I watched "Black Sheep" today at 11.40 pm.
And im so not going to a sheep farm anymore.
It was GROSS!
But the funniest part was the sheep bit off the dude private part LOL.
He made love with a sheep. COME ON =_=!

The show scared 1 year of my life out.

-ix3Rukia

Special post for Grea.

2009-05-16T01:38:00.002+08:00

Greafantasy.
I know you are stalking me.
I can see you.
Dota noob :D
Damn. I cant find you. You stay at Singapore. D:
Or i would find u :(
Haha.
** Greafantasy is my MapleSea best friend when i used to play maple back then :o**

-ixRukia

Stalkers.

2009-05-15T01:40:00.002+08:00

I currently have 700 people stalking me o_o.
From all over the world :o.
That is scary lol.

-ix3Rukia

Youtube project.

2009-05-15T00:57:00.004+08:00

Currently working on "Sen No Yoru Wo Koete" - by Aqua timez MMV. o_o
It is good but not as pro as imuffinsx3. :o . Still i think i manage to do a great job for my 1st MMV :3. yayz.

GAH THIS VIDEO IS HEAD PAINING! THE MEMORY IS TOO BIG! I need to keep it under 1gb so i can post it in youtube but...It is 1.1 gb ._.

The worst part is... That i keep deleting animations in the video so most of them are pictures now D:
TO KEEP DA MEMORY SMALL ._. thats annoying. ISHK.

■■■■■■■■■■□
95% On the video :o.

Well im sleepy. Nitez all.

-ix3Rukia

Bored sunday school.

2009-05-10T22:57:00.004+08:00

Sunday School was so boring today. Frank was absent :(. Cecelia took over and it was SO BORING!
She is super clueless! I bet she dont even know what she is saying D:. SO i just lend Rachel's pencil and just started to draw doodles o_0 i dont know how to draw nicely yet lol.
This is my Rukia doodle. :D

Gah. Its ugly :( im still learning how to draw.

I did manage to drew nice eye's on another piece of A4 paper. And hair and face. NICELY! But i cant compete with Freda's PRONESS in drawing o_o. She's like.. Pro in everything. Cs,Ragnarok , Maple story and all. Omg =_=. Thats crazy. You have no life Freda. Lol. No offense though o_o.

-ix3Rukia

My first ever photoshop drawing

2009-05-10T02:20:00.002+08:00

I downloaded photoshop and tried to learn how to use it. And i drew my character. Well it isnt SUPER nice but im proud of it :D here it is. ix3Rukia.

CLICK FOR BETTER VIEW :D - My first photoshop drawing o_o

-ix3Rukia

Wuds!? i WON!?

2009-05-09T23:58:00.004+08:00

I was fiddling with youtube one day. And found a maple story character contest by ramenproductionz.
So i was getting bored of Dota and decided to just enter the competition. The deadline was 8th may but ramenproductionz said that my char will be the last entry. And i posted the video today , 9th may. And guess what. this happened.

CLICK FOR BETTER VIEW. ramenproductionz congratulation me.

CLICK FOR BETTER VIEW. ramenproductionz saying my char was awsomeee~

If any of you is interested in watching my entry form. here it is! or you can just go youtube.
OR JUST CLICK HERE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnLVhoMSdog

I did enter for Kyoko456's contest too. Just waiting for her to state da winners :o

-ix3Rukia

Charles house.

2009-05-09T19:57:00.001+08:00

Today i went to Charles house with Ryan,Kengi,Edison and Jin Sng (Shawn). Well we were suppose to do our NIE project but we started playing PS2 and went to cyber and played counter strike and Dota. Lol. Anyway charles walked me home. Kinda fun. Long time no seeing Charles :o

Charles. Doing the puppy dog eyes. (he wanna go Cyber cafe D:-

Me and Charles. He was walking me home :o

-ix3Rukia

Rubix!

2009-05-09T19:48:00.003+08:00

Finally. After 15 years of my life.
I finally get Rubix. But just 1 side LOL.
And im proud of it ! here is some peek-chure

ORANGEEE~ But i dont know how to do 2 side :( but im sure that side sure somebody can do cause got the + shape.

GREEEEEEEEEEN~

-ix3Rukia

Tueday. Freda,christie,jovee and me

2009-05-09T01:07:00.004+08:00

I went to Kentucky with Freda,Christie and Jovee. Then suddenly , a guy came to us and talked in Mandrin and asked , you want to buy perfume? its like Gucci u know? Alot of girls say when they smell it they so fall in love with it. You wan testing ma? and while eating he sprayed perfume at our faces ._. and the chicken!! D: We were so surprised at him and then he went off and said come buy our perfume next time.

Then we went to 100 yen . Freda ate strawberry. Which was good.
But Jovee and Christie ate chocolate.
I dont want to know what it tasted like but i dont really like it.

Randomness?

2009-05-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

Lol. I went to pray to my grandfather on 3 or 4 sundays ago. ( i guess)
So my cousin and me went to take a picture.
Here it is.

Note the RANDOM background. haha. Dont worry no spirits are behind us. LOL

-ix3Rukia